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Moving Overseas with Children: Make the Move Enjoyable
If you're planning a move overseas, there are some
members of your family who might not adjust so easily - your
children. Consider your children before, during and after the
move. They are leaving friends, family, a familiar environment
and the home they've grown to love. They are traveling to a
foreign land where culture, language and environment are all new.
When moving with your children to a foreign land, you can't afford to
neglect their needs.
Here are some helpful tips that will enable your children to cope with
the many changes they face.
Prepare Children for the Move in
Advance
As soon as you realize you will be moving to a foreign land, explain to
your children when, why and how you will be moving. Start
preparing with them by your side as far in advance as possible.
This will give them time to adjust to the idea of moving.
Planning their "Farewells"
You can help your children prepare by allowing them to plan their
"goodbyes" to friends and relatives in advance. Let them decide
how they would like to say "goodbye." Whether it be a few
farewell parties, special written cards or letters to each of their
special friends and loved ones, or just a phone call - let them
decide. This will make them feel as though they are leaving for a
great adventure instead of being dragged unwillingly by their parents
to an unknown place!
Let them Educate Others
Give your children brochures, photos of their new home and community,
and any other information about where you will be moving. Let
them tell or educate others about the place and country. They
will feel important in their new adventure, and be willing to talk
about the move more openly if they become an authority on the
subject. This puts them in the position of a leader during the
moving process; what kid wouldn't want to be the leader for once?
Language Barriers
If the language is totally different where you will be moving, this can
dramatically increase the stress on your entire family, especially the
children. Get a beginner book or CD for the new language so your
children can become familiar with the language in advance. Don't
try to teach them the full language, but use fun words such as
"hamburger" or "park." Help them learn some simple words they can
use immediately when arriving in their new-found land to identify with
familiar places or things.
Packing with Children
Get your children involved in the packing process. Have them take
a complete inventory of everything in their room, from toys to clothes
to furniture. Also, ask them to make a "donate" or "garage sale"
list for items they no longer want. You can have a garage sale
with these items to earn extra cash for the move, or you can let them
earn some money to spend when they arrive at their new home. It
will give them something to look forward to when the move takes place.
Next, provide boxes for the children to pack their belongings.
Also, allow them to help you pack other items in the house. This
will give them a sense of belonging to the family. With teens,
this might be difficult due to the emotional impact of the move, but
you can help matters by offering incentives in return for their help.
No Surprises
Besides preparing for the move itself, prepare your children for the
actual trip as well. Depending on where you travel, there may be
certain health requirements such as shots, checkups, etc. Let
your children know all that is required from each of you in
advance. If shots are needed, the children should know that you
will be getting them too, and you are not afraid.
Moving with Teens -- Miracles do
Happen
A teenager will probably have a much more difficult time adjusting to
the idea of moving to a foreign land. This is natural, but should
not be ignored. It is a time when you should carefully consider
their emotions and talk about it as often as possible. A teen is
usually very attached to friends, school and home life. Any
changes are drastic! So, be willing to comfort them whenever
needed, and talk, talk, talk!
If you feel your teen is depressed because of the move, don't be too
proud to seek counseling. It's important that they overcome
depression quickly - even before the move.
Here are some tips for your teen:
*Give them plenty of time to adjust after telling them of the move
before making other plans.
*Once they've accepted the idea, ask for their suggestions about the
move (packing, changing schools, farewell parties, etc.)
*Give them an opportunity to make some decisions in the moving process.
*Search the Web for stories by other teens who have moved to a foreign
country. It helps to know others who have gone through the same
thing.
*Provide all the literature you can about the new place.
*Help them understand that it's a new adventure, and they'll get to see
and do things they never have before.
*Assure them that they will be able to stay in contact with their old
friends with letters, occasional phone calls or email.
*Give them a digital camera so they can email pictures of the new home
and place to their friends as often as they wish.
If your children are old enough to understand that you are moving,
doing the above suggestions will help ease the pain a bit.
Children can adjust to the idea of moving if you consider them in
everything you do. Don't expect too much, and always give them
the opportunity to participate and talk about their feelings.
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